Still hurting

T.T sighhh...it's just so painful. How can a human be so cruel? Or How can I toughen up? I hate all the feelings shit...I really hate it I don't wanna feel anything I don't want to be so human! Arghhhh!!!! I am so tired of pretending I am ok til now I still failed to cheat and convince myself I am ok arghhhhhh!!!! Life! What the hell is life supposed to be? I learnt to love and care and this is what I get! How on earth can I learn d reverse?!!! Tired...distracted...depressed ;(